Open

From the time we are children it seems we are taught to hold back and filter what we say.  Even before the term was coined our parents were teaching us to be politically correct, at least if we were to be a part of polite society.  For young ladies that teaching goes even a step further as there are topics we simply do not discuss and certain emotions you are taught to control in order to be appropriate as you conduct yourself correctly and politely. 

Society at large has expectations of a lady.  A lady is always polite.  She does not swear.  She is educated.  She is well read.  She is caring.  She is in control of herself.  She thinks before speaking.  It is my opinion that all of this has served me well throughout life.   I do not regret living up to these expectations.

When Sir came into my life he asked me to open up to him.  He wanted to be trusted at a level beyond what others before him had been trusted.  He was willing to earn this trust by being open and honest in return with me.  He was asking me not to change so much as to remove my filters and let my guard down with him.  Could I do this?  Could I allow myself to be raw with another person?  Allow him to possibly see me in lights that were unflattering and without polish?  Was I going to be able to discuss those topics with him that I had been raised to think were off limits to ladies?  Oh I wanted to do it all.  I found that I was frightened by the prospect however filled with such a deep desire to be known by him that I was more  willing to open up to him than to say no to his request.  Sir assured me that the rewards would be tenfold and he has been correct as this as strengthened our bond. 

I struggle at times since it is first nature to close off and think before speaking however speaking with him first is becoming my second nature.