Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Sometimes we are lucky enough to know that our lives have been changed, to discard the old, embrace the new, and turn headlong down an immutable course. 
Jacques Cousteau

Reading that brought so many questions to my mind...

Am I lucky enough to see that my life has been changed?  Discovering and admitting that I am submissive has changed me.  I have to ask do I feel lucky in that change and increased knowledge of myself? 

Am I willing to discard the old?  Change?  Oh, how we humans don't like that at all.  Change can be so very scary and if I feel lucky with this change in my life does that mean I must welcome it and also welcome the discarding of the old?

Then I must also admit to myself if I keep stepping in the directions of it, of D/s, then there really is no going back.  It is an immutable course.  After tasting the delights to be had at the hand of a Dom could I really return to the vanilla world?  Would I really want to return to a world that offered only one flavor?

I haven't all the answers at this point.  Actually I don't know that I have any of them.  I am willing to work through the clutter in my head to find them though.


  1. Great questions and I hope you enjoy the quest for answers. Welcome to the blog sphere.

  2. I like your questions and your quest to figure all this out. I think the first part of your discovery is very have realized your submissive side and are facing it. I agree that once you take the first few big steps, it is very difficult to go back. The biggest question to me is this...If this really is you, and you feel that you need your submission to be the real you and what you need to be happy, then can you truly deny yourself of it? Meaning can you stay vanilla when you know this is who you are and what you need? Personally, I think you will be happy unless you move forward with it.


  3. Sir J, Thank you for your comment and the welcome.

    DV, Thank you for your comment, questions and further insight. This a journey filled with getting to know oneself even better by asking all these questions and then questing for the answers.

  4. I am not very submissive, but I am SUBMITTED to him. It does not come naturally to me at all, and thus, it is a huge life change. For me there is no going back, the bridge I traveled on to get here is burned and gone. I don't know how to embrace change this dramatic, but I'm trying to adjust and figure it out.

    It's more about figuring out who HE truly is, and embracing his dominance. I have a long way to go with that too.