Monday, April 18, 2011


Meeting someone new they are given the benefit of the doubt and trust is given.  Trust them with your life? No, not that much.  Trust them enough to get to know more? Yes, that is exactly how much.  Trust begins right about there and in the moment we meet.  Trust grows each time we interact.  Trust grows with each promise kept, secret shared and as our feelings grow for the person. 

This dynamic of learning a new person always brings to mind the tales told during childhood and I feel as though the choice being made is really to decide if he is the big bad wolf or the knight on his horse.  The lesson from those tales told to us as children isn't that someone rescued the young lady in the end.  No, there may not always be a fairy godmother or a wood cutter nearby to save the day.  In my opinion, the true lesson to be remembered from these tales is the young ladies seemed to sense something was amiss in time to save herself and proceeded anyway.  Snow White was not comfortable around the old hag.  Red Riding Hood noticed all was not right with Grandma. 

Should you hear warning bells trust yourself.  Uncomfortable at all in his presence?  Don't be alone with him for any reason.  See some red flags?  Don't ignore them because of this D/s dynamic.  Speak up.  We are submissive.  We are not mute doormats.  Submission is ours to give because we want to give it, because want him to have it and because he is worthy of the gift just as we honored by him.


  1. Excellent post! And exactly how a female submissive should proceed. What you have to offer should be of your own free will. you do have to be with someone you can totally trust. Your radar should be up even more than for a vanilla dating situation, just based on the nature and activities involved with this lifestyle. Any red flags, intuition, gut feelings, or whatever should have attention paid to them. Just because you want and need this dynamic, doesn't mean you should overlook warning signs to have this. In actuality, you should pay even more attention to them when meeting a potential Dom. Great post and great advice!


  2. DV, Thank you kindly. I always hate to hear those stories where a woman says "I should have listened to myself...". Seems in the quest to get what is wanted sometimes too many risks can be taken and that is just foolish.

  3. Great posting. I always say listen to yourself, you are usually right.

  4. Really important post. More than once in my life I listened to those instincts and it saved me from a possible assault.

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  7. It really is so important to listen to those instincts, especially for a submissive woman who seeks to please, to share and to trust. I really appreciated your discussion of the fairy tales. It's entirely true that we must save ourselves by listening to those instincts and recognizing motive. I think it is very important when one is getting to know someone that they want to know about you, not just your slutty mind but all of you, and I think it is also important that they are willing to share with you. It goes to trust. If they don't trust you with their heart it is going to be hard to trust them with yours. It's your gut that is the best guide at the end of the day.